hating someone with all your heart…..

what a journey it was
loving a person
to
cursing your choice
hating same person
disliking your own thoughts you had for them
begging in front of God
crying in front of God
about “why this” and “why me”?
pleading for your well being

telling negative about same person
to those people
to whom once you described your crushing behaviour
hating all those memories you had since the whole time
hating all your tears which are being wastedfor a selfish person like that

GOD ?
DO THEY EVEN DESERVE GOODNESS ?
DO THEY EVEN DESERVE SMILES WHEN SOMEONE IS CRYING BECAUSE OF THEM?
DO THEY EVEN DESERVE NORMAL LIFE WHEN SOMEONE IS HAVING ANXIETY BECAUSE OF THEM ?

if YES then this world is definitely not for me atleast

stay with hundreds of ENEMIES
than
this SELFISH FRIEND or LOVE who are good to you one day and worst to you on another day
stay with hundreds of people who are BAD on your face
than these manipulators who make you cry by being fake

and
after making others in tears
even god can’t forgive these people
after making others in panic attacks
even god can’t forget their faces

THE TRUST I HAVE IN HIM
THE FAITH I HAVE IN HIM

BABA ……..ARE YOU SEEING THE PAIN I AM DEALING ?